30 replies to this topic

[sviridovt]

Hi all,

Sometimes flight attendants get pretty funny so post your stories here:

Thanks, Tim

[Real World Pilot]

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child...pick your favorite.

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"


not from me, but they are funny, some of them have sort of happened to me...

[Kirkland]

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child...pick your favorite.

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"


not from me, but they are funny, some of them have sort of happened to me...

Umm... Kulula.com doesn't fly to Amarillo.... they invented SOME of them just to put on their websites but ok... still funny..

[Mr Tree]

Not Funny, but you might get a giggle.
On one flight, the air hostess announced the plane as saab 330, when the sheet (with evacuation drawings on it) CLEARLY said "SAAB 340" on the top...

I'm thinking this is funny only to us aviation enthusiasts.

[Tintinfan]

On a Air Asia flight this FA (asain, of course) said:

"Ladies and Gentlman, welcome abourd this Air Asia Hairbus A320 to Denpasar." - Most of the cabin started to laugh and the poor FA was all confused.

[adityapratama]

On a Air Asia flight this FA (asain, of course) said:

"Ladies and Gentlman, welcome abourd this Air Asia Hairbus A320 to Denpasar." - Most of the cabin started to laugh and the poor FA was all confused.

purely stupid

is she Indonesian? if so,she must be punish with a death penalty for giving my country a bad name

[Royen]

On a Air Asia flight this FA (asain, of course) said:

"Ladies and Gentlman, welcome abourd this Air Asia Hairbus A320 to Denpasar." - Most of the cabin started to laugh and the poor FA was all confused.

This so funny! ^

[natsirt44]

I have a book full of funny things people have experienced on airplanes, and on of the best was in China about 30 years ago, when the pilot said "This plane is ill. We take other plane." After entering the other airplane, the pilot says "This plane more ill. We take first plane!"

If you want, I might post some more later.

[bolli]

I like:
http://www.youtube.c...bed/f_L4yu19og0
best

[NilsOlavThePenguin]

I love that video.

[NilsOlavThePenguin]

I have a book full of funny things people have experienced on airplanes, and on of the best was in China about 30 years ago, when the pilot said "This plane is ill. We take other plane." After entering the other airplane, the pilot says "This plane more ill. We take first plane!"

If you want, I might post some more later.

LOL. "This plane ill" ROFL

We need more.

[Mr Tree]

I like:
http://www.youtube.c...bed/f_L4yu19og0
best

I could spend several hours re watching that video, like the time I spent an hour re watching the Super Bass video

[Real World Pilot]

I have a book full of funny things people have experienced on airplanes, and on of the best was in China about 30 years ago, when the pilot said "This plane is ill. We take other plane." After entering the other airplane, the pilot says "This plane more ill. We take first plane!"

If you want, I might post some more later.

Sooo funny

[Real World Pilot]

http://www.google.co...R5h10jKn1pkztKg

[Real World Pilot]

http://www.google.co...kRuN0aNLJx0GOdQ

[Real World Pilot]

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."






A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.. OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine."

[Real World Pilot]

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."







A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?" The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?" The little boy admitted that she did. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you."

[NilsOlavThePenguin]

ROFL

[QK Flight Industries]

Nice!

[Concagh98]

Here's a good one:
"Any passengers who refuse to buckle their seat belts will be asked to step onto the wings and and enjoy our feature movie presentation "one with the wind""